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January/Hartmânôd 20, 2020, Manostag, Mother’s 93rd birthday.

1/21/2020

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(Hartmânôd = Harsh Month)
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Plans: fur kids, wifey, Toby into Veterinary, work 8hrs.
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Today marks two weeks since Essie’s passing.  I have been an emotional train wreck.  Essie knows I love her.  Essie knows she will always be my queen.  Since her passing I have had two visions of her. 
1. I see her in the arms of Freyja.
2. I see her laying on a rug in from of a blazing fireplace, either in Folkvangr or in the Halls of my Ancestors.
Whatever the case, I know she’s fine, but that will never negate my pain.  I know that Essie knows she was well protected without smothering her.  My goal always was to make sure she did not suffer like she did at the beginning of her life.  I have MANY good memories of Essie.  My favorite is when I would be in bed, sleeping on my side, Essie would get up on my ankles, walk the entire length of my body, and put her head on my shoulder for me to scratch her head (OMGs the tears).  I will see her again; however, not until all the other fur kids have passed.  Until then, my heart aches, at the same time, it’s comforted.
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Ancestor Meditation: Manostag/Mano’s Day/Monday (parents) Elmer H. Reimer (1924-1963) and Anna M. Schmidt (1926-1994), Jewell F. Reimer [(sister) (1947)], Michael L Reimer [(brother) (1948-1997)], Beth Ann Reimer/Hinkle [(sister) (1956-2018)].
Elmer H. Reimer (1924-1963)
Birth 24 October 1924 in Whitewater, Butler County, Kansas, USA
*US Navy veteran, Joint Intelligence Center, Pacific Ocean Area (JICPOA)
**Naval Intelligence Office, Pearl Harbor, Hawaii.
*Married 23 June 1946
Death 10 October 1963 in Wichita, Sedgwick County, Kansas, USA; complications from M.S.
Anna M. Schmidt (1926-1994)
Birth 20 January 1926 in Lehigh, Marion County, Kansas, USA
Death 23 September 1994 in Wichita, Sedgwick County, Kansas, USA; heart attack.
I honor you this day, and I honor every bit of you that resides in me.  I’m grateful for the strong German heritage you’ve provided. I look forward with eager anticipation to the great family reunion on the other side.  I offer you my undying love, honor, respect, and gratitude.
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Elder Rune Summons:
Born of fire, born of ice
Life is lived at such a price
Elder Runes in your way
Advise the mortal man today
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Elder Rune: Isa: Ice: dormancy: a calming, self-preservation, self-centeredness resulting in a lack of change, reflective influence, stilling effect: self-control: the concentrated self: ego, das Ich (the unified, whole, principle or force), the composite plurality of Ich, be still and gain control of the Self (in all its forms): grounding, a lowering of vibration levels, patience, frigidity, and the loss of momentum.
*A2R3
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Armanen Rune Summons:
Born of fire, born of ice
Life is lived at such a price
Armanen Runes in your way
Advise the Spirit man today
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Armanen Rune: Yr:
Havamal 161:
A sixteenth I speak if a maid is reluctant,

To wake her lust and desire;
I change the heart of the delightful woman,
Then to me her wishes turn.
 
Lust/desire, seduction, reluctance, influence, second thoughts, a change of heart, the waxing and waning moon, lunar-like mutability of the feminine essence, the error-rune, conquering resistance through confusion, eventual perfection, Female mysteries, roots of the World Column, well grounded, the carrier of genetic material, God-woman, femininity, desire, sensual love, passion, perfection, Mother, chaos from which creation emerges, female principle in the Cosmos, the night, death and instinct, anger, falsehood, error and the oppositions found in humankind, mystical union, night, moon, well grounded, roots of Irminsul from which all life springs, woman as the opposite/balance to man, the descending Divine Feminine being.
“Think about the end” (List, 63).
*H3R4
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Interpretation: Calm (Isa) brings eventual perfection (Yr).
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1st check on all fur-kids: food, water, litterboxes, shelter.
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Outcome: 6 ½ hrs. of troubled sleep with an EXTREMELY slow wakeup.  Both Toby and Lily were in the bedroom.  I was in no rush.
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a banana + a 1-egg open-faced breakfast sandwich topped with chees and hot sauce on whole wheat toast. 

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Toby’s Veterinary visit provided mixed results.  He’s gained another pound; now at 45lbs, but his glucose level remains too high.  His insulin has been increased to 18 units and has another visit next Tuesday.
*I paid $250 ahead of Toby’s upcoming surgery.
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Toby and I out for a 3-block roundy.  Early in the walk, a dog ¾ the size of Toby came charging from a house across the street.  As I wasn’t too concerned, I let it happen, and Toby let it happen.  When that dog tried to snap at Toby’s hind leg, Toby said, THAT’S E-FUCKING-NUFF!  Toby turned around and attacked that little dog, It took off back across the street whining.  Toby can be any dog’s buddy, but when things get shitty, I’ve seen a few times that Toby finishes it.
*sunny, borderline cold, north breeze.
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Note to Self: Toby’s 1pm insulin @ 18 units ↑from 16 units.
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French bread pizza from frozen + a garden salad.
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MASL
https://www.maslsoccer.com/  (on a Monday afternoon?) (Oh, MLK Day)
Milwaukee Wave 7:6 OT Kansas City Comets last few minutes on MASL TV/YouTube
Baltimore Blast v Sonora Soles
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Call into Air Capital Veterinary for feeding schedule clarification. Insulin ↓ to 17units
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My manager wasn’t at work tonight.  The only other one I trust was, however, and I wasn’t too sure this new union steward would be up to snuff on layoff issues, I asked the manager when layoffs happen, how is it going to happen.  He told me that whenever our last day was going to happen, we would get a phone call from our manager informing us that today was our last day and we were to report to X location to be processed out.  The original email said employees would be going out the door on January 22nd.  Whether or not it’s ACTUALLY on the 22nd, doesn’t really matter but it WILL happen.  MY question would also be, when do bump-backs happen?  Is it immediately upon layoff notice, or does one have to actually go through the layoff process, first?
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Last check on all fur-kids.
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Note to Self: Toby’s 1am insulin @ 17 units
2am nighty night.
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God/dess Meditation: Mano, god of the moon:
Greetings to you, Mano, glorious male aspect of the moon; silver messenger on high.  You’re the measurer and teller of time.  You’re the counterpart to Sunna, the feminine aspect of the sun.  As you fly silently on your way reflect into our souls the glory of the High Ones that we might aspire to the realms of the gods. Bathe our world in soft brightness, and whisper to our souls of joyous realms beyond our knowing. Mano, let us see the goodness within us and without us, all the nights and days of our lives.  WE GIVE YOU A MOST HEART-FELT HEIL, MANO, as we honor the Mano that resides in us all!
*source: combination AFA Book of Uncommon Prayers, and C.Reimer/V.Elmersson
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Alaf Sal Fena!
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